Doodles is serenading me with my favorite song of his on the guitar.
It's a soft, harp sounding one, it's so lovely. I'm so glad that he's still keeping up with his guitar.
Oh, did I mention we are moving? Yep. We. Are.
Do I sound excited? Nope. We. Are. Not. (that is, of course, a royal 'We')
lol
Let me see, lived in same area for the whole 11 yrs I've been in England, same GP, who knows me inside and out (literally!!), Doodles going to same school since he was 2, living close to M.I.L, so no problems if babysitter needed, an absolutely amazing carer, all my consultants......
What in the world do I have to be nervous about??
HA! Nervous?!? Terrified is more like it!!
Since June, JustAl has been commuting to work, Bless him, he has really sacrificed so I could stay with my GP and consultants, so I told him, that we needed to think about moving closer to work now. He needs an easier life, he works so hard for us.
He leaves the house at 5:30am to walk the 1.5 miles to the train station, where he has to change trains twice to get to Newbury, then he walks a further 2 miles to reach work. Then he works and makes the trek home and he doesn't get home till 8pm.
He stays so tired, and home life is non existent for him, so I told him it's time. I can handle the move (or so I told him!).
Now, the move is imminent and I'm soooooo scared. I'm not sleeping anymore, and the pain is reaching epic proportions with me doing most of the leg work for the move, since JustAL has no time.
We move in under 2 weeks. on the 27th.
Well, gotta head to the train station, I pick him up in the evenings to save him the walk.
More later on this episode in my life.......
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Saturday, 13 November 2010
Can you hear that?
Hmmmm can you?
It's the sounds of jaws dropping.
rapidly.
I'm here!
Okay, Okay, I know I'am a 'few' days late, but if you understood my world, you would say 'ah, that's okay'.
So, I'm sitting, waiting for my pain pills and the other dozen pills I've just taken, to get me thru the night, to actually kick in and do their many jobs.
I found something to kill time with....
deleting the two million (okay, yes, that is a SLIGHT exaggeration)shows I have piled up on the V+ box waiting to be watched.
You know them, the shows that look amazing at the time, so you set them to record, and never actually get around to watching them, yeah, that's them.
So, one after another, I hit delete and okay, THEN after the first million, you get the dreaded message that says 'completing request, Please wait....', so you wait, and wait, and try to turn off the tv, and wait, and try to hit 'back' and wait...
I'm still waiting. and waiting.
Would ask hubby to help, but as you can hear, and I KNOW you can hear him, he's busy sawing logs, LOUDLY, on the floor in front of the tv, that is, the same tv that is 'still waiting'.
We are moving. Did I tell you that? No?
Well guess that will be the story for tomorrow. IF I can remember to post tomorrow, that is.
I promise, I'll try!!
It's the sounds of jaws dropping.
rapidly.
I'm here!
Okay, Okay, I know I'am a 'few' days late, but if you understood my world, you would say 'ah, that's okay'.
So, I'm sitting, waiting for my pain pills and the other dozen pills I've just taken, to get me thru the night, to actually kick in and do their many jobs.
I found something to kill time with....
deleting the two million (okay, yes, that is a SLIGHT exaggeration)shows I have piled up on the V+ box waiting to be watched.
You know them, the shows that look amazing at the time, so you set them to record, and never actually get around to watching them, yeah, that's them.
So, one after another, I hit delete and okay, THEN after the first million, you get the dreaded message that says 'completing request, Please wait....', so you wait, and wait, and try to turn off the tv, and wait, and try to hit 'back' and wait...
I'm still waiting. and waiting.
Would ask hubby to help, but as you can hear, and I KNOW you can hear him, he's busy sawing logs, LOUDLY, on the floor in front of the tv, that is, the same tv that is 'still waiting'.
We are moving. Did I tell you that? No?
Well guess that will be the story for tomorrow. IF I can remember to post tomorrow, that is.
I promise, I'll try!!
Friday, 20 August 2010
?
I have no title, I have no thoughts, I have nothing.
It's a blank. lol
Well, guess that's not totally true, I do have thoughts, but think I'll keep those to myself.
My diet has went pear shaped, can't seem to get my head around it anymore.
I'm not giving up though. I'm hoping after our hols, I can get back into it.
I can't seem to get out of the funk.
Pain, no sleep, everything just seems to be beating at me, like it's a moth flying around a light and keeps running into it and beating at it with it's wings.
It's like your in quicksand and you can't struggle, it's just all pressing in around you, you trying to walk thru deep mud and it gets so the mud weighs you down and you can't lift your feet anymore to walk.
Even the air feels heavy.
I know this is crap, I know in my head that this is just a fibro thing and it will go away, but it still feels overwhelming.
In one of my fibro support groups, one of the women died.
She took her own life. She couldn't take the pain and weariness any longer.
On one hand, I know exactly how she felt and why she did it, I can totally understand it.
But on the other hand, I can't imagine coming to that decision.
It's scary when half of you understands and can see it, but half of you can't.
When does one half take over the other half and how deep in the quicksand do you have to be?
In my head, I know that her situation was different from mine, in that she lived in the US, and couldn't afford her pain pills or some of her other meds, or couldn't afford to go to the doctor when needed.
In my head, I know that I have everything I need to fight this, I have an amazing doctor who not only sees me when needed, but comes to my house when the pain is to much, and takes it away.
And I have all this free, at my fingertips.
What makes me more special than her? Why didn't she deserve to have what she needed?
That could have been me.
In my head, I know the difference, but in my heart, it's not so clear.
Okay, Netster, see what happens when you want a post! lol
It's time for my carer to arrive, to fix doodles his lunch, another thing that someone has to do for me.
How much has to be taken away before you become a blob? a non entity? a bump on a log? something with no shape, no form, no texture, a nothing?
okay, I'm gonna get off here, think I've said way to much, as usual!!
Teach you to ask me to blog! lol
love ya netster!
It's a blank. lol
Well, guess that's not totally true, I do have thoughts, but think I'll keep those to myself.
My diet has went pear shaped, can't seem to get my head around it anymore.
I'm not giving up though. I'm hoping after our hols, I can get back into it.
I can't seem to get out of the funk.
Pain, no sleep, everything just seems to be beating at me, like it's a moth flying around a light and keeps running into it and beating at it with it's wings.
It's like your in quicksand and you can't struggle, it's just all pressing in around you, you trying to walk thru deep mud and it gets so the mud weighs you down and you can't lift your feet anymore to walk.
Even the air feels heavy.
I know this is crap, I know in my head that this is just a fibro thing and it will go away, but it still feels overwhelming.
In one of my fibro support groups, one of the women died.
She took her own life. She couldn't take the pain and weariness any longer.
On one hand, I know exactly how she felt and why she did it, I can totally understand it.
But on the other hand, I can't imagine coming to that decision.
It's scary when half of you understands and can see it, but half of you can't.
When does one half take over the other half and how deep in the quicksand do you have to be?
In my head, I know that her situation was different from mine, in that she lived in the US, and couldn't afford her pain pills or some of her other meds, or couldn't afford to go to the doctor when needed.
In my head, I know that I have everything I need to fight this, I have an amazing doctor who not only sees me when needed, but comes to my house when the pain is to much, and takes it away.
And I have all this free, at my fingertips.
What makes me more special than her? Why didn't she deserve to have what she needed?
That could have been me.
In my head, I know the difference, but in my heart, it's not so clear.
Okay, Netster, see what happens when you want a post! lol
It's time for my carer to arrive, to fix doodles his lunch, another thing that someone has to do for me.
How much has to be taken away before you become a blob? a non entity? a bump on a log? something with no shape, no form, no texture, a nothing?
okay, I'm gonna get off here, think I've said way to much, as usual!!
Teach you to ask me to blog! lol
love ya netster!
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Where is that da** towel?
WI was this morning and for the first time, I have put on weight. yuck!
I put on 1/2 a pound and seeing it go on my graph, was harder than I thought.
I can't claim emotional eating or being ill or anything else that would be an okay excuse.
I was just, very simply put, giving myself an excuse to quit.
Throw in the towel.
Stop.
But, my friend Helen, has hidden my towel. Won't give it back. Stole it!
So, guess I will have to continue on the trip, since she won't give it back!
I started pointing again today, after almost a week of skipping it.
Where is that wagon??
I put on 1/2 a pound and seeing it go on my graph, was harder than I thought.
I can't claim emotional eating or being ill or anything else that would be an okay excuse.
I was just, very simply put, giving myself an excuse to quit.
Throw in the towel.
Stop.
But, my friend Helen, has hidden my towel. Won't give it back. Stole it!
So, guess I will have to continue on the trip, since she won't give it back!
I started pointing again today, after almost a week of skipping it.
Where is that wagon??
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Simply promises
Well, I made a promise to myself, and to a WW friend, that as a way to stay 'on track' I would try to blog everyday or at least every other.
hhhhmmmm I don't know if I'll make it or not, but here's one, anyway!
Doing really really lousy on WW at the moment. At my midweek sneaky peek, it looks like I've gained about 4lbs. Don't know if that will go up any before Thursday, but the possibility is out there.
Am I tempted to throw in towel, like I have every other time I've done this.
Yes.
WILL I throw in the towel, like I have every other time I've done this.
No.
I am trying to fight thru my sabotage as, I know the signs, when I get to this point, I usually give it up, but this time I'm actually trying to hang on by the tips of my fingers to the edge of the wagon.
So, if any of you see this wagon, racing along the road at top speed, with a crazy, maniac of a woman clinging to the side, please, please, please, stop the horses to give me a chance to climb aboard, before I fall under the wheels!
Made several promises to myself and Helen, and am hoping my netster will jump in with a few of her own!
Mine are:
1. Eat 2 portion of fruit
2. Eat 3 portions of veg
3. Drink 2lts of CL/water (fizzy not included)
4. Log all points even the naughty ones and the 0pt ones
5. Drink no more than 2 Dr. Peppers a day.
6. Write on my 'Simply Me' blog daily (okay, maybe every other day. lol)
Fibro wise, and life wise, things are slogging along.
New carer is quite nice, I have enjoyed her being around, though I do see a bit of bossiness in there, that I may have to get up the bravado enough to stop.
Other than that. I'm alive! So that's always a bonus! lol
hhhhmmmm I don't know if I'll make it or not, but here's one, anyway!
Doing really really lousy on WW at the moment. At my midweek sneaky peek, it looks like I've gained about 4lbs. Don't know if that will go up any before Thursday, but the possibility is out there.
Am I tempted to throw in towel, like I have every other time I've done this.
Yes.
WILL I throw in the towel, like I have every other time I've done this.
No.
I am trying to fight thru my sabotage as, I know the signs, when I get to this point, I usually give it up, but this time I'm actually trying to hang on by the tips of my fingers to the edge of the wagon.
So, if any of you see this wagon, racing along the road at top speed, with a crazy, maniac of a woman clinging to the side, please, please, please, stop the horses to give me a chance to climb aboard, before I fall under the wheels!
Made several promises to myself and Helen, and am hoping my netster will jump in with a few of her own!
Mine are:
1. Eat 2 portion of fruit
2. Eat 3 portions of veg
3. Drink 2lts of CL/water (fizzy not included)
4. Log all points even the naughty ones and the 0pt ones
5. Drink no more than 2 Dr. Peppers a day.
6. Write on my 'Simply Me' blog daily (okay, maybe every other day. lol)
Fibro wise, and life wise, things are slogging along.
New carer is quite nice, I have enjoyed her being around, though I do see a bit of bossiness in there, that I may have to get up the bravado enough to stop.
Other than that. I'm alive! So that's always a bonus! lol
Thursday, 15 July 2010
The wagon
The WW wagon tends to leave me behind at times of need. Wonder how that works?
I had a good WI today, lost 3.5 lbs, so now have lost just over 30lbs. It just doesn't seem real!
My current weight is now 24 st 5.5 lbs, it's a loss of 2st 2.4lbs. I'll take it!
Got Doodles costume done and dusted! Involved a few late nights and lots of headache meds! lol
Will try to get a pic of it today, as today is the class assembly.
Tonight is open house at Myton, so a long drive (hour and a half one way) to pick up JustAL from work, then the long drive back, as if he commutes on the train he wouldn't get home till 8pm.
He has about a 2 hour commute each way, leaves around 5am and gets in about 8pm. Long day for him, thank goodness the contract ends in a another 5 weeks! lol
Anyway, gonna pick AL up, so we can make it back for the open house. We've already done the NLS open house. These are our only two schools that we are willing to put Doodles in for upper school.
We have to get the decision made tonight, so we can apply onlline. Doodles is leaning toward NLS, as they are a arts college, and he is wanting to take Drama as a main course.
Dad is leaning toward Myton, as they are top in the marks of GCSE's and are a top school, not to mention that is the school that AL went to.
So, tonight will tell.
Mom has not made a decision, except that she wants Doodles to go to a school that he will be happy at, as even a top school can't get good grades out of a child who isn't fulfilling, not only his academics, but his passion and Doodles has a definite passion for Drama, so I'm all for a school who specializes in Drama and has good academic scores.
NLS is a arts college and has just this year built a totally new school, that has state of the art things.
They have professional dance studios', full recording studios, a wonderful drama dept, that has several plays a year to perform.
It is also second to myton in academics, so I'm happy for Doodles to attend there.
But we'll give Myton thier chance tonight to impress. lol
The Wagon is driving by now, so must run and jump on it before it leaves me behind again.
I had a good WI today, lost 3.5 lbs, so now have lost just over 30lbs. It just doesn't seem real!
My current weight is now 24 st 5.5 lbs, it's a loss of 2st 2.4lbs. I'll take it!
Got Doodles costume done and dusted! Involved a few late nights and lots of headache meds! lol
Will try to get a pic of it today, as today is the class assembly.
Tonight is open house at Myton, so a long drive (hour and a half one way) to pick up JustAL from work, then the long drive back, as if he commutes on the train he wouldn't get home till 8pm.
He has about a 2 hour commute each way, leaves around 5am and gets in about 8pm. Long day for him, thank goodness the contract ends in a another 5 weeks! lol
Anyway, gonna pick AL up, so we can make it back for the open house. We've already done the NLS open house. These are our only two schools that we are willing to put Doodles in for upper school.
We have to get the decision made tonight, so we can apply onlline. Doodles is leaning toward NLS, as they are a arts college, and he is wanting to take Drama as a main course.
Dad is leaning toward Myton, as they are top in the marks of GCSE's and are a top school, not to mention that is the school that AL went to.
So, tonight will tell.
Mom has not made a decision, except that she wants Doodles to go to a school that he will be happy at, as even a top school can't get good grades out of a child who isn't fulfilling, not only his academics, but his passion and Doodles has a definite passion for Drama, so I'm all for a school who specializes in Drama and has good academic scores.
NLS is a arts college and has just this year built a totally new school, that has state of the art things.
They have professional dance studios', full recording studios, a wonderful drama dept, that has several plays a year to perform.
It is also second to myton in academics, so I'm happy for Doodles to attend there.
But we'll give Myton thier chance tonight to impress. lol
The Wagon is driving by now, so must run and jump on it before it leaves me behind again.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Greek soldiers, Glue and Guesswork
What a title huh?
It all goes together, so what can it be that involves all of those things?
Got any ideas?
No?
It's the dreaded 'class assembly'........(insert Jaws theme tune here)
Doodles: Mum, I'm going to be a Greek soldier in my class assembly!!
Mum: Cool! Do you have any lines?
Doodles: Yes!
Mum: What do you wear?
Doodles: Shorts
Mum: What are you lines?
Doodles: It's a surprise!
Mum: Do you need anything?
Doodles: A sword!
Mum: Okay
Doodles: Oh, and a spear.
Mum: mmmmmmmhhmmm
Doodles: Can I have a snack?
Mum: Get an apple or some other fruit.
Doodles: Heads to kitchen.....
Yelling from kitchen.....
Doodles: I need a helmet, too.
Mum: *rolls eyes*
Doodles: mumbling around food in mouth *need helmet*
Mum: Yep, I heard you.
Mum: Do you need anything else?
Doodles: uh uh
*****************************************
Next Day (Saturday)
Doodles: Mum, What are we going to do for my costume?
Mum: What costume?
Doodles: For my class assembly Thursday *with a definite 'duh' tone*
Mum: your sword, helmet and spear?
Doodles: yeah, and the armor and cape they wear.
Mum: What armor and cape they wear? You didn't TELL me you needed that.
********************************************
2 hours later
Doodles: Dad! Did mum tell you I'm a Greek soldier and get to wear a FULL Greek soldier costume? Mum is going to do it.
Mum: What?!??
Dad: Didn't you know?
Mum: NO! He just told me a helmet, spear and sword.
Mum: *going online to see photo of Greek soldier and what they wear* Oh sheeeesh, I gotta do that? Sam!!! You have to tell me these things sooner! When is it due?
Doodles: The class assembly is Thursday.
Mum: *talking to dad* I'll go Monday to the hobby place and get stuff to make it, that will give me 3 days to make it.
*****************************************
Sunday
Doodle: Mum, will you have it ready by Tuesday morning?
Mum: What?!??
Doodle: It has to be in by Tuesday morning!!
Mum: *looking at dad* And we had another child, for what reason?!?
Yep, he's done it again! Getting information out of that child is like a leaky faucet.....
take time to get small drips of info from him......
Takes time, a drip at a time.....
Is as annoying as all get out!!!!!!
So, ran to Coventry to the hobby place, picked up some brown felt (for leather looking breast plate....
Gold felt (for gold leg armor)
Tan felt (for contrast leather on skirt portion of armor)
LARGE red felt(for spartan cloak)
Gold chain and stone looking decorations (for above mentioned cloak)
Gold mask (to cut apart for hop lite helmet)
Glue
and HUGE bottle of aspirin!!!!!! (not really, took heavier stuff than that!!! lol)
Spent the afternoon cutting and glueing.
Actually have tunic part of the breast plate done.
Gotta love 'em!! lol
So far the week has gone good WW wise. Been under points most days, but that's not unusual on bad fibro days.
My short hair has been great! So much cooler than my long hair was!!
Well, guess I better head to bed, tomorrow will be filled with images of Greek soldiers in short skirts. lol
It all goes together, so what can it be that involves all of those things?
Got any ideas?
No?
It's the dreaded 'class assembly'........(insert Jaws theme tune here)
Doodles: Mum, I'm going to be a Greek soldier in my class assembly!!
Mum: Cool! Do you have any lines?
Doodles: Yes!
Mum: What do you wear?
Doodles: Shorts
Mum: What are you lines?
Doodles: It's a surprise!
Mum: Do you need anything?
Doodles: A sword!
Mum: Okay
Doodles: Oh, and a spear.
Mum: mmmmmmmhhmmm
Doodles: Can I have a snack?
Mum: Get an apple or some other fruit.
Doodles: Heads to kitchen.....
Yelling from kitchen.....
Doodles: I need a helmet, too.
Mum: *rolls eyes*
Doodles: mumbling around food in mouth *need helmet*
Mum: Yep, I heard you.
Mum: Do you need anything else?
Doodles: uh uh
*****************************************
Next Day (Saturday)
Doodles: Mum, What are we going to do for my costume?
Mum: What costume?
Doodles: For my class assembly Thursday *with a definite 'duh' tone*
Mum: your sword, helmet and spear?
Doodles: yeah, and the armor and cape they wear.
Mum: What armor and cape they wear? You didn't TELL me you needed that.
********************************************
2 hours later
Doodles: Dad! Did mum tell you I'm a Greek soldier and get to wear a FULL Greek soldier costume? Mum is going to do it.
Mum: What?!??
Dad: Didn't you know?
Mum: NO! He just told me a helmet, spear and sword.
Mum: *going online to see photo of Greek soldier and what they wear* Oh sheeeesh, I gotta do that? Sam!!! You have to tell me these things sooner! When is it due?
Doodles: The class assembly is Thursday.
Mum: *talking to dad* I'll go Monday to the hobby place and get stuff to make it, that will give me 3 days to make it.
*****************************************
Sunday
Doodle: Mum, will you have it ready by Tuesday morning?
Mum: What?!??
Doodle: It has to be in by Tuesday morning!!
Mum: *looking at dad* And we had another child, for what reason?!?
Yep, he's done it again! Getting information out of that child is like a leaky faucet.....
take time to get small drips of info from him......
Takes time, a drip at a time.....
Is as annoying as all get out!!!!!!
So, ran to Coventry to the hobby place, picked up some brown felt (for leather looking breast plate....
Gold felt (for gold leg armor)
Tan felt (for contrast leather on skirt portion of armor)
LARGE red felt(for spartan cloak)
Gold chain and stone looking decorations (for above mentioned cloak)
Gold mask (to cut apart for hop lite helmet)
Glue
and HUGE bottle of aspirin!!!!!! (not really, took heavier stuff than that!!! lol)
Spent the afternoon cutting and glueing.
Actually have tunic part of the breast plate done.
Gotta love 'em!! lol
So far the week has gone good WW wise. Been under points most days, but that's not unusual on bad fibro days.
My short hair has been great! So much cooler than my long hair was!!
Well, guess I better head to bed, tomorrow will be filled with images of Greek soldiers in short skirts. lol
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Long time no see.....
Sorry for taking so long to write.
No excuse really, have had bad days and good days, though the good are few and far between.
The fibro picks the most inopportune times to strike, and then I'm down for days.
A message for Netster: WW is going good, I am being good. I've now lost 27 lbs since I began, two of those was today when I weighed in.
I really try not to look at the big picture, it's so daunting, but when I see the 27 pounds and know I should be chuffed to have done that, I think what little difference it makes to the next 100 I need to go.
I did a search and found some WW wine for a friend of mine (you know who you are!!!), and now I know WHY I couldn't find it in any of the stores I looked at.
I would wonder down the wine aisles slowly, sometimes more than once, searching each and every bottle of wine for the WW one.
I knew it should be there.
Store after store, I searched.
THEN........
I searched the wine aisle again, frustrated, and decided I'd had enough and would go home and call WW to find out who stocks it, when......
I wondered to the end of the aisle, and glanced over at the little side shelf that holds 'mini' bottles of whisky and such, and there..... right there... in the midst of the little bottles of whiskey and gin, is the littles bottle of wine I've ever seen!
WW wine comes in tiny bottles, no wonder it's low points!! I think it's a glass per bottle!
They are cute though!
So no more searching!! yea!!
After WI this morning, I went and got my hair chopped off!! It was midway down my back, simply because it hurts so much to sit for long and knew what pain it would cause, so left my hair to grow and take over my life. lol
Then last night, I had a horrible horrible headache, and just the weight of my hair was enough to cause more pain, so this morning, I loaded up on pain pills, and found a hair dresser that had no steps to climb and no waiting and said 'cut it off'.
She was ever so good and was thrilled it was naturally curly, so I now have it just above my shoulders and she layered it so the curl would be more defined.
Next time, and next 27 pounds lost, and it's going shorter! lol
Will try not to be gone so long next time and remember to post!!
No excuse really, have had bad days and good days, though the good are few and far between.
The fibro picks the most inopportune times to strike, and then I'm down for days.
A message for Netster: WW is going good, I am being good. I've now lost 27 lbs since I began, two of those was today when I weighed in.
I really try not to look at the big picture, it's so daunting, but when I see the 27 pounds and know I should be chuffed to have done that, I think what little difference it makes to the next 100 I need to go.
I did a search and found some WW wine for a friend of mine (you know who you are!!!), and now I know WHY I couldn't find it in any of the stores I looked at.
I would wonder down the wine aisles slowly, sometimes more than once, searching each and every bottle of wine for the WW one.
I knew it should be there.
Store after store, I searched.
THEN........
I searched the wine aisle again, frustrated, and decided I'd had enough and would go home and call WW to find out who stocks it, when......
I wondered to the end of the aisle, and glanced over at the little side shelf that holds 'mini' bottles of whisky and such, and there..... right there... in the midst of the little bottles of whiskey and gin, is the littles bottle of wine I've ever seen!
WW wine comes in tiny bottles, no wonder it's low points!! I think it's a glass per bottle!
They are cute though!
So no more searching!! yea!!
After WI this morning, I went and got my hair chopped off!! It was midway down my back, simply because it hurts so much to sit for long and knew what pain it would cause, so left my hair to grow and take over my life. lol
Then last night, I had a horrible horrible headache, and just the weight of my hair was enough to cause more pain, so this morning, I loaded up on pain pills, and found a hair dresser that had no steps to climb and no waiting and said 'cut it off'.
She was ever so good and was thrilled it was naturally curly, so I now have it just above my shoulders and she layered it so the curl would be more defined.
Next time, and next 27 pounds lost, and it's going shorter! lol
Will try not to be gone so long next time and remember to post!!
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Catching up and laying low
I had a nice bit of time, catching up on Netsters gratitude posts.
If I had to give one thing today, that I'm grateful for, it would be that I have such an amazing friend, with such a gift of love and beauty, that just reading her blog could give a sense of peace and contentment that I've found so hard to reach lately.
Netster is such a joy and gem, and I thank whoever/whatever brought her to be my friend.
And nope, I didn't know it was for me, but thank you for pointing it out! (for nets)
I had WI this morning and lost....
zilch.
nada.
nothing.
zero.
0.
I totally and completely stayed the same, right down to the last gram.
Bummed.
Sad.
Discouraged.
I'm guessing that after a week of morphine, it's not a good thing to get something else dumped on you, when you've tried so hard.
I've lost 16 lb in the 4 weeks I've been back to WW, so why am I so upset at a stay-the-same.
Guess it's just been such a lemon of a week, I didn't need it. or want it.
I've not given in to my desire to comfort eat all week, which is usually what I do when I hurt so bad, and then not to lose after the struggle is not a good feeling.
So what's for supper tonight?
A lovely pepperoni pizza with loads of cheese???
A plate of home made nachos with loads of cheese???
I know!! How about a huge chocolate bar for snack???
Nope, a WW spinach and cheese cannelloni with a side salad.
Glutton for punishment, aren't I??
If I had to give one thing today, that I'm grateful for, it would be that I have such an amazing friend, with such a gift of love and beauty, that just reading her blog could give a sense of peace and contentment that I've found so hard to reach lately.
Netster is such a joy and gem, and I thank whoever/whatever brought her to be my friend.
And nope, I didn't know it was for me, but thank you for pointing it out! (for nets)
I had WI this morning and lost....
zilch.
nada.
nothing.
zero.
0.
I totally and completely stayed the same, right down to the last gram.
Bummed.
Sad.
Discouraged.
I'm guessing that after a week of morphine, it's not a good thing to get something else dumped on you, when you've tried so hard.
I've lost 16 lb in the 4 weeks I've been back to WW, so why am I so upset at a stay-the-same.
Guess it's just been such a lemon of a week, I didn't need it. or want it.
I've not given in to my desire to comfort eat all week, which is usually what I do when I hurt so bad, and then not to lose after the struggle is not a good feeling.
So what's for supper tonight?
A lovely pepperoni pizza with loads of cheese???
A plate of home made nachos with loads of cheese???
I know!! How about a huge chocolate bar for snack???
Nope, a WW spinach and cheese cannelloni with a side salad.
Glutton for punishment, aren't I??
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Where did I
Go??
I seem to have a lost a week in there somewhere. lol
WI this past thursday brought me a 4lb loss.
I have now lost 1 stone and 2 lbs.
I now have 2 silver 7's in my possession, okay, not exactly in my possession, since they are cyber 7's, but ya know what I mean!
This week has gone by quickly.
I spent alot of it asleep, pain was up this week, must be the rain.
Thought alot about Netster this week, got stuff I need to post to her, but seemed like alot of effort, a bit more than I could do.
Pain Sucks!
Tonight is the first England match in the World Cup, and it's against the USA!
This should be interesting night in our Brit/US household.
I'm thinking I need to stock up on things I can throw, here beside my couch, when JustAL gets mouthy, I need something to chuck! lol
Anyone else watching??
I seem to have a lost a week in there somewhere. lol
WI this past thursday brought me a 4lb loss.
I have now lost 1 stone and 2 lbs.
I now have 2 silver 7's in my possession, okay, not exactly in my possession, since they are cyber 7's, but ya know what I mean!
This week has gone by quickly.
I spent alot of it asleep, pain was up this week, must be the rain.
Thought alot about Netster this week, got stuff I need to post to her, but seemed like alot of effort, a bit more than I could do.
Pain Sucks!
Tonight is the first England match in the World Cup, and it's against the USA!
This should be interesting night in our Brit/US household.
I'm thinking I need to stock up on things I can throw, here beside my couch, when JustAL gets mouthy, I need something to chuck! lol
Anyone else watching??
Thursday, 3 June 2010
Another 6 bites the dust
Yep! I did it again!
I lost another 6lbs! Yea me!
It's only 10:58 and already my day has went from good to embarrassing to bad.
I do not want to know what rest the day holds in store!
Good: Went into town, found close disabled parking to boots, Doodles, JustAL and I went into Boots for me to weigh. Yea! 6lbs gone!
Then we headed across the street to Waterstones to preorder a new book from Stephanie Meyers for both me and Gail (MIL) and get a gift card for Gail, for her birthday today.
Embarrassing: Had a look around, paid for the preordered books, got gift card, looked around for minute, and since the pain is playing up alot today, I looked around for a bench to sit on.
Found a bench and negotiated between a really tall bookcase, and thought that was good, something to look at while I'm waiting for the boys to get done looking.
Al helps me sit down and wanders off to find Doodles.
I'm enjoying my little spot, it's got the tall book case on my right with all sorts of fiction on it, and it's partially blocked by a smaller bookcase, so ppl can't just stare.
I look over and getting a few weird looks from the staff at the counter. HHMMM, I'm sure this is a public seat.
More weird looks from ppl. HHHMMM, wonder if they think I'm trying to nick something?!?
I tire of looking at the shelves on my right and turn to my left a bit so I can have a look a the small bookcase facing me, the one that is keeping me hidden a bit.
OH! SHEEESH!!
Big sign saying......
EROTIC FANTASY!! OH my!! Naked ppl staring at me!!
STOP!! Don't move! I say to my very confused little boy who was heading for me.
Why do I have to stop, he says.....
JustAL: Never mind son, just walk the the other way.
Good grief!! I got up faster than I have in a long time!! JustAL sure got a giggle out of it!! figures!!
Then we head back for the car.
Bad:
Got to the car, in the nice close disabled spot.
Forgot to put out my disabled badge on the dash.
Got a £70 parking ticket!!
Can this day get any worse??!!??
I lost another 6lbs! Yea me!
It's only 10:58 and already my day has went from good to embarrassing to bad.
I do not want to know what rest the day holds in store!
Good: Went into town, found close disabled parking to boots, Doodles, JustAL and I went into Boots for me to weigh. Yea! 6lbs gone!
Then we headed across the street to Waterstones to preorder a new book from Stephanie Meyers for both me and Gail (MIL) and get a gift card for Gail, for her birthday today.
Embarrassing: Had a look around, paid for the preordered books, got gift card, looked around for minute, and since the pain is playing up alot today, I looked around for a bench to sit on.
Found a bench and negotiated between a really tall bookcase, and thought that was good, something to look at while I'm waiting for the boys to get done looking.
Al helps me sit down and wanders off to find Doodles.
I'm enjoying my little spot, it's got the tall book case on my right with all sorts of fiction on it, and it's partially blocked by a smaller bookcase, so ppl can't just stare.
I look over and getting a few weird looks from the staff at the counter. HHMMM, I'm sure this is a public seat.
More weird looks from ppl. HHHMMM, wonder if they think I'm trying to nick something?!?
I tire of looking at the shelves on my right and turn to my left a bit so I can have a look a the small bookcase facing me, the one that is keeping me hidden a bit.
OH! SHEEESH!!
Big sign saying......
EROTIC FANTASY!! OH my!! Naked ppl staring at me!!
STOP!! Don't move! I say to my very confused little boy who was heading for me.
Why do I have to stop, he says.....
JustAL: Never mind son, just walk the the other way.
Good grief!! I got up faster than I have in a long time!! JustAL sure got a giggle out of it!! figures!!
Then we head back for the car.
Bad:
Got to the car, in the nice close disabled spot.
Forgot to put out my disabled badge on the dash.
Got a £70 parking ticket!!
Can this day get any worse??!!??
Tuesday, 1 June 2010
missed another one
Can ya believe it? I missed another day! You'd think, that since I can't move around much, and spend my life here on the couch, I'd remember things better! Sheesh, it's not like I have a life or anything! lol
Yesterday I was grateful for the lounger that was delivered, that 1)holds my weight 2) doesn't cause me untold pain 3) allows me to enjoy the evening outside.
Sam helped me out with the clothes last evening, and he set up my lounger for me and helped me on it, and then played in the back garden while I enjoyed the time outside.
This is the first time I've sat outside in a long time, due to the pain that chairs cause me.
I enjoyed watching sam play in the boxes that the loungers had come in. He made it into a cool fort.
The simple joys of childhood and the forgotten imagination.
Today I'm grateful for the hubby who is busy cleaning out the cubby in the kitchen and cleaning the house.
We have inspection tomorrow (we rent our home, sucks!) and he's busy sprucing up the place.
Do you have any idea how crap it feels, to be sitting on the couch, while someone slaves, doing what you should be doing?
One of the hardest aspects of Fibro/ME/CFS is how it makes you useless and then feel guilty for the being useless.
I want to get up and help, and willing to suffer the pain, but then I get told off for trying and made to sit back down.
So, not only am I a child, made to mind and be told off, but I feel horrible guilty for just sitting here.
Sometimes life just sucks.
There are times I just want to stop the merry go round and get off.
I know that they say God won't give you more than you can handle, but I wish he didn't trust me so much, cuz I just want to throw my toys out of the pram and scream.
If I'm totally honest, my faith has been beaten, bruised and in danger of being crushed.
There are few ppl that I know I can depend, but I don't know anymore whether God is one of those ppl.
Oh my, I didn't mean to be that honest! lol See what happens when you want more posts!
Yesterday I was grateful for the lounger that was delivered, that 1)holds my weight 2) doesn't cause me untold pain 3) allows me to enjoy the evening outside.
Sam helped me out with the clothes last evening, and he set up my lounger for me and helped me on it, and then played in the back garden while I enjoyed the time outside.
This is the first time I've sat outside in a long time, due to the pain that chairs cause me.
I enjoyed watching sam play in the boxes that the loungers had come in. He made it into a cool fort.
The simple joys of childhood and the forgotten imagination.
Today I'm grateful for the hubby who is busy cleaning out the cubby in the kitchen and cleaning the house.
We have inspection tomorrow (we rent our home, sucks!) and he's busy sprucing up the place.
Do you have any idea how crap it feels, to be sitting on the couch, while someone slaves, doing what you should be doing?
One of the hardest aspects of Fibro/ME/CFS is how it makes you useless and then feel guilty for the being useless.
I want to get up and help, and willing to suffer the pain, but then I get told off for trying and made to sit back down.
So, not only am I a child, made to mind and be told off, but I feel horrible guilty for just sitting here.
Sometimes life just sucks.
There are times I just want to stop the merry go round and get off.
I know that they say God won't give you more than you can handle, but I wish he didn't trust me so much, cuz I just want to throw my toys out of the pram and scream.
If I'm totally honest, my faith has been beaten, bruised and in danger of being crushed.
There are few ppl that I know I can depend, but I don't know anymore whether God is one of those ppl.
Oh my, I didn't mean to be that honest! lol See what happens when you want more posts!
Sunday, 30 May 2010
Uh Oh
See how sad I am!! I make the vow to post a gratitude post for 7 days (or was it 5 days??) and I've already missed one!
Though I have to confess....
I probably would have missed more than one, if I hadn't went and read Netsters blog this evening, and her big headlines was what reminded me. Gratitude 5, Gratitude 6....
See! Even I can take subtle hints!!! lol
So to make up for missing yesterday, I will post 2 today.
1) I am grateful for the sun and wind today, that helped dry my laundry so quickly. (Darn it! I forgot to bring it in!! Sheeesh, now I gotta go out and get it! lol)
2) I am soooooo grateful for the chinese take away we use. Now, I don't even have to give name and address, I just say 'I'd like a order for delivery' and the nice lady says 'What will you have 52? (52 being our house number)' HA! How sad is it that the lady knows my voice!!!
* a extra one..... Grateful I can still have my chinese and stay within points!!!!
Though I have to confess....
I probably would have missed more than one, if I hadn't went and read Netsters blog this evening, and her big headlines was what reminded me. Gratitude 5, Gratitude 6....
See! Even I can take subtle hints!!! lol
So to make up for missing yesterday, I will post 2 today.
1) I am grateful for the sun and wind today, that helped dry my laundry so quickly. (Darn it! I forgot to bring it in!! Sheeesh, now I gotta go out and get it! lol)
2) I am soooooo grateful for the chinese take away we use. Now, I don't even have to give name and address, I just say 'I'd like a order for delivery' and the nice lady says 'What will you have 52? (52 being our house number)' HA! How sad is it that the lady knows my voice!!!
* a extra one..... Grateful I can still have my chinese and stay within points!!!!
Friday, 28 May 2010
It's hard
to find things to be grateful for everyday.
I never noticed that really, until my best buddy started a 'daily gratitude' post on her blog.
Would I be able to think of something everyday?
I would like to think that I would, but I can just see a months worth of blogs that say 'I am grateful for JustAL, I am grateful for children, I am grateful for Netster.
Everyday.
Every post.
Would get tedious quick for the readers!!
Not that my blog is anything more than tedious on the best of days, but it would defy the bounds of tedium. (is that even a word?? lol)
So, as a test, from today until my next WI day, which is next Thursday, I will find something NEW each day to be grateful for that isn't the aforementioned JustAL, Children and Netster, those go without saying.
So, for today, I am grateful for the sunshine, which we have in abundance today.
That was easy!!
See what you started Nets!
This is all your fault!
Good thing your so loved! lol
Now, time to get off here and start thinking of tomorrows grateful post!!
I never noticed that really, until my best buddy started a 'daily gratitude' post on her blog.
Would I be able to think of something everyday?
I would like to think that I would, but I can just see a months worth of blogs that say 'I am grateful for JustAL, I am grateful for children, I am grateful for Netster.
Everyday.
Every post.
Would get tedious quick for the readers!!
Not that my blog is anything more than tedious on the best of days, but it would defy the bounds of tedium. (is that even a word?? lol)
So, as a test, from today until my next WI day, which is next Thursday, I will find something NEW each day to be grateful for that isn't the aforementioned JustAL, Children and Netster, those go without saying.
So, for today, I am grateful for the sunshine, which we have in abundance today.
That was easy!!
See what you started Nets!
This is all your fault!
Good thing your so loved! lol
Now, time to get off here and start thinking of tomorrows grateful post!!
Thursday, 27 May 2010
In my head
To bad my body won't participate. lol
I had my first WI today.
So.......
I got up earlier than usual, so I could get ready to go with JustAL to take Doodles to school, then off we went to boots.
Did I tell you that I have to weigh in at boots?
What is Boots, you ask?!? It's our pharmacy, imagine a British Walgreens.
What is Boots, you ask?!? It's our pharmacy, imagine a British Walgreens.
My scales at home only go up to 160kg, and I go up past that! lol
Can't wait till I can weigh from home!!
Anyway, back to the story.
Walked thru boots to the pharmacy, with JustAL teasing me about my foot apparel, seems he thinks I wore my flip flops so that I could take them off to weigh and add that bit more to the loss.
Sheeesh! Why can't I think of these things! I did ask him if it would be appropriate for me to remove my heavy trousers too, but he seemed to think they would have a problem with that.
Can't imagine it!! lol
Anyway, off came the flip flops (well, he DID say it first!!) , then it was suggested I remove my cardigan as well, so, not one to disobey (hee hee) the hubby, took that off too.
Stepping up on the scales and giving it 50p to do the dirty work, I peeked at the print out and I was in shock!!
I really thought, that since I couldn't do exercise, even walking, that this wouldn't work.
It did!
I lost 5.9 lb!
In my head I'm jumping up and down!!
P.S Thank you netster for the encouragement and the peace of mind, that you are only a email away!
Monday, 24 May 2010
3.5 days to go
I can't believe it.
I am already stressing out about my first Weigh In (WI).
I think I'm doing really good so far, having more trouble eating enough, rather than eating to much.
I seem to have settled into a new 'level' with the Fibro, which has made this new adventure easier. Maybe it's the sunny weather, but the pain has been at a constant level instead of sharp rises and drops, so easier to maintain with the pain pills and not needing to use the morphine in the past couple of weeks. Very pleased about that!
Doodles is at a birthday party for a friend at a buffet Chinese restaurant, as I type.
Which prompted hubby into asking for Chinese takeaway, but like a good little WW girl, I went to the Internet to resolve my points dilemma and discovered to my joy, that mushroom chow mien is only 4.5/5 pts and prawn crackers are only 5 pts. So, give that I still have 19 pts to use up today (told you I was having problems eating enough!!), I will make use of the menu that sits here tempting me.
Yummy!!
Is there a AA group for Dr Pepper abusers? I could use one! I was drinking up to 2 litres a day!! But since joining WW, I have now got down to where I will only have 1 can of it as a treat in the evening.
Why not go diet, you say? Any diet soda drinks give me a major headache, no idea why, because i can drink Crystal Light without a problem. Who knows? Who cares?
I'm a Pepper, he's a pepper, don't you wanna be a pepper, too?
Well, hubby is starting to look a bit hungry, so it's time to let me fingers do the walking and have supper!!
So, while I dim the lights and fade into the background, let's all sing!!!!
I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, don't you wanna be a pepper, too?
I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, don't you wanna be a pepper, too?
I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, don't you wanna be a pepper, too?
I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, don't you wanna be a pepper, too?
I'm a pepper, he's a pepper, she's a pepper, don't you wanna be a pepper, too?
Friday, 21 May 2010
It's Official......
No one reads my blog!
So, I guess I'm safe to admit to everyone and thier dogs ( or kitties), that I have, as of last night, rejoined WW.
Yikes! I suck at losing weight.
What did it? What major event in my life could lead me to join a club that terrifies and makes me feel a inch tall?
I braved the world and went to boots and weighed myself the other day. Wrong move! I now weigh exactly 4kg (8lbs) from what I did when I had my first heart attack.
NO WAY!! I DO NOT want to to go there again!!
So, I got brave, and joined WW online. That way, I don't have to go to the meetings that embarrass me, so no excuse.
I'm hoping to bring 'my' netster on board as official cheerleader, and maybe...... just maybe.... I might be able to do this.
Nettie has done so well, she's looking cheeky, sexy and slim and I wanna be there to! lol
So, I shall be putting weight losses, and all the cr**, eeerrr I mean stuff up here, so if you want to maintain your sanity and not hear a grown woman blubber, then you might want to avoid reading this space. lol
Now, I think I will just pitter patter down the blog hallway and knock on Netster's blog door and let her know what she's in for.
OH Nettie!!!!
Wait! stop!! Don't run!! I just wanna talk!! Nettie?! Hello? Where'd ya go?
Man, can that woman run fast!!
So, I guess I'm safe to admit to everyone and thier dogs ( or kitties), that I have, as of last night, rejoined WW.
Yikes! I suck at losing weight.
What did it? What major event in my life could lead me to join a club that terrifies and makes me feel a inch tall?
I braved the world and went to boots and weighed myself the other day. Wrong move! I now weigh exactly 4kg (8lbs) from what I did when I had my first heart attack.
NO WAY!! I DO NOT want to to go there again!!
So, I got brave, and joined WW online. That way, I don't have to go to the meetings that embarrass me, so no excuse.
I'm hoping to bring 'my' netster on board as official cheerleader, and maybe...... just maybe.... I might be able to do this.
Nettie has done so well, she's looking cheeky, sexy and slim and I wanna be there to! lol
So, I shall be putting weight losses, and all the cr**, eeerrr I mean stuff up here, so if you want to maintain your sanity and not hear a grown woman blubber, then you might want to avoid reading this space. lol
Now, I think I will just pitter patter down the blog hallway and knock on Netster's blog door and let her know what she's in for.
OH Nettie!!!!
Wait! stop!! Don't run!! I just wanna talk!! Nettie?! Hello? Where'd ya go?
Man, can that woman run fast!!
Friday, 9 April 2010
What to do?
What to do? What would you do? Would you do it straight away or wait? Would you do it? Is it worth it? Can it be done? Is it possible? Can you help? Will you hinder? Is it worth writing about? Would you read it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)