under today, and know that tomorrow brings something new.
I have always heard that, and it use to work.
Now, I know tomorrow will be like today, and I'm dreading it.
I know when I started this, I told a few of you I'd try to be honest in how I feel physically and mentally, but to honest (ha! there ya go, honesty!) I do try to gloss over it and make it into a joke, maybe that makes it not so bad, or makes me braver to face it?!
Going thru a bad period with chronic fatigue right now, and spasms, got good drugs, but I hate taking drugs, and try not to as much as possible.
My doc tells me that I 'try to be brave' and wait to long to take the pills or come see him, but I don't think it's bravery at all, it's not wanting to 'need' all the pills I have to take, and to add to that, really makes me uneasy and I don't want to have to depend on them.
I guess I just can't face that fact that I have to depend on all these pills to keep me functioning, or what my body can call functioning, but it's not much and is it worth it?
Some days, when I feel better, and the pain is less, I will think 'hey, this is good, maybe the doctor is wrong, and I don't have this', but then I try to walk down the garden path, or across the room, and I feel the pain, and it hits me all over again, that I'm nothing anymore, that I can't do anything anymore.
Geez guys, see what happens when you make me blog!!
drivvle, it's all drivvle!
